Great sex is all about spontaneity and exploration—assuming, of course, you have her consent—but there are a few parts of her body you shouldn’t touch willy-nilly.
Here are four such spots you’re better off avoiding.
1. Her cervix.
If you reach her cervix during sex, recognize that something is wrong. Remember, this is the narrow canal that connects the vagina to the uterus—where babies grow.
That isn’t a place you want to go, so don’t knock on the door. For starters, it’s painful for her to have something rammed against her cervix, and it could be a sign
that you need to shift for a position with shallower penetration. But it could also mean that she isn’t warmed up enough. Her uterus will actually “lift” upwards when
she’s sexually aroused, making her vaginal cavity a few inches deeper than when she isn’t turned on. So don’t skimp on foreplay, and don’t service her cervix.
2. The head of her clitoris.
This might seem counterintuitive, but the clitoris—which is full of super sensitive nerve endings—can sometimes feel too intense when it’s stimulated directly.
Touching the clitoris head-on, especially if she’s really aroused, can feel too severe. Think about that feeling when you gulp an ice-cold beverage and your teeth
start to tingle—it’s just not pleasant. Instead, try going for the shaft of her clitoris or rubbing circles around it, which will engage the nerve endings without
overstimulating her. We won’t tell you to never touch her there, but it’s worth checking in with your partner to see if she has a sensitive C-spot.
3. Her feet.
Especially if she’s sporting socks. A study from Johns Hopkins University showed that wearing socks in the sack can increase orgasm potential, for both men and women.
One potential reason: In order to orgasm, women need to be totally relaxed and anxiety-free, and cold feet can interfere with their ability to really get into sex.
Though we usually recommend knocking her socks off, leave them on this time.
4. Her anus.
Unless you’re all lubed-up, that is. Anal play can take plenty of warming up, but even when she’s totally aroused and ready to get it on, nothing should go in there
without a generous helping of lubricant. The anal opening is small enough that even a finger can feel uncomfortable. While you’ve got the KY bottle handy, you should
probably go ahead and use it for all other acts. A study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women rate their sexual satisfaction much higher when lube is
Let her mind wander: Fantasizing during sex may help her orgasm, finds a recent Belgian study.
Women who reported regularly experiencing the big O were more likely to imagine sexy scenarios while getting it on than those who had trouble finishing.
It’s possible that her erotic thoughts help keep her focused on feeling good, the researchers say. Women who have a hard time getting off tend to be more distracted
during sex, according to the paper, while those who orgasm easily may be more tuned into their sensations.
So encourage her to fantasize, says study author Francoise Adam, Ph.D. Many women feel guilty about it, so make sure she knows you’re glad she has a dirty mind, Adam
Even better yet, you can help engage her in the moment and take a starring role in her script by ramping up your dirty talk, says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a sex therapist
and the author of Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex. Start by whispering how much you love to make her feel good. From there, grunts, moans, or any sort of
verbal reaction can help put her over the edge, Brame says.…
1. The Classic Vibrator
A good vibrator is like a Volvo: dependable, powerful, and a reliable way to get from point A to point O.
“If she’s using something electric, like the Hitachi Magic Wand, then you know she’s definitely into the power,” says Sadie Allison, Ph.D., author of The Mystery of
the Undercover Clitoris.
Allison says women are attracted to the variety in a classic multispeed vibrator: She can speed up, slow down, and vary the pressure until she’s right there.
The takeaway: It’s not all about hitting one speed. Start slow and easy before you rev up and build toward climax. You can diversify your intensity, too, by
alternating between hard-and-fast pumps and the slow-and-gentle kind.
2. The Bullet Vibe
If she’s using a bullet vibrator—one of those small, thumb-sized vibes shaped like a bullet shell—then she’s definitely targeting her clitoris.
Crammed with thousands of nerve-endings, the clitoris is a one-way ticket to orgasm, so it’s not surprising that lots of women focus here. Similarly, she might be
using a vibe like Jimmyjane’s Form 3 or the Minna Limon, which are shaped to cover the clitoris and the surrounding area.
The takeaway: Rather than going straight to thrusting, spend some time giving TLC to her clitoris. Try warming her up with a little clitoral play, and move into sex
positions that hit her C-spot, like woman-on-top or missionary with your hips tilted forward.
Related: 45 Sex Positions Every Couple Should Try
3. The Rabbit
Named for their two-pronged bunny-ear shape, rabbit vibrators are designed to hit two spots at once—like Lelo’s Soraya dual-action vibrator, which stimulates both the
clitoris and the G-spot simultaneously.
These are the Ferraris of sex toys: they have all the power of a classic vibe, with twice the intensity.
The takeaway: Bring it to the next level by stimulating more than one spot at a time. If your lady is using her toy both internally and externally, it’s a sign to “pay
more attention to her needs and focus on giving her pleasure all over her body,” says Kathryn Catney, a representative from Lelo.
During oral sex, use your tongue to hit her clitoris while your fingers find her G-spot; during intercourse, enter from behind while you reach around to push her
4. The Dildo
Sometimes, sex toys are straightforward, like the dildo. Typically large and phallic-shaped, it’s the closest thing to a “replacement penis” out there.
But before you get huffy about being swapped for a synthetic lookalike, remind yourself that the girl who uses a dildo likes the same type of equipment you already
The difference? She can control it. “If she has a dildo, that means she really likes penetration,” says Allison.
Look closely at her dildo of choice, Allison says—specifically, the size and the shape.
The takeaway: If her dildo is pornstar-huge, don’t get a bruised ego. This could just be an indication that she likes super-deep penetration—and that’s a win-win for
both of you.
No matter the size, let her be in charge of controlling the thrusts. That way, she can maneuver you around just how she likes.
5. Arousal Oils
There are sex toys, and then there are sex oils. We’re talking about the tingling, tantalizing gels and lubes that can take pleasure up a notch by making her ultra-
sensitive down there.
A woman who puts this much effort into the preparation definitely enjoys a big payoff in the end.
The takeaway: Don’t skimp on the foreplay. Whether it’s giving her oral or manual stimulation or just playing with the oils themselves, make sure her engine is hot
before you start.
Plus, it goes without saying that everything feels better when it’s slippery—so wait until she’s all lubed up before anything else.
6. Sex Toys for Couples
If she’s already using solo sex toys, she’ll likely love trying them with a partner—a.k.a. you. “Men are becoming more open to using toys in the bedroom, and
surprisingly more couples than singles tend to buy our products,” says Catney.
According to a 2014 survey by Lelo, 72 percent of sex toy owners use them with their partners.…
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